toliveistosuffer

when i first came to this place i felt the tension eyes staring holes through my skin i thought  was so thick catch in my throat choke down all feelings the sentence handed across smile stretched across his face evil as the wolves blood drippinf from fangs read it over and sign it in your blood a line of black cars desecends the street like soilders with a death warrant i step onto the pavement EXPLODE!!! you collapse to the ground blood at the feet of god a pay cheque to end the times i stabbed you back i cant forgive and i promise ill never forget

hostile feelings burn my nerves i can no longer feel pain and sorrow rip the fabric of my feelings a gunshot to the beasts head wont stop the black heart my dreams keep me coming to this place moon lit forest my blood seeping from unseen wounds in my arms dogs bark behind me i fall on my face hands stretch through soil my face no longer shows my love you knew we would never stop this you knew this all along you knew this would die you knew i would die kill me kill me massacre me for the pictures stretched like bodies pulled over our eyes wool like the sheep blood in my pores i suffocate to death

i better go were the last words she spoke to me and as she walked away i watched my love go with her and even now as im stuck remembering i can still feel the knife break my skin and as it cracks pass the ribs before the heart i see you in his arms you said you loved me but all i have to fucking show for it is a gaping hole and my blood on the floor your less than a reminder of when i was happy 2 years living a lie i knew from day one you lied i always knew i always fucking knew

im standing in front of this mirror my reflection lost to me soul long departed blood from a fresh vendetta covers my feet we hate you we hate you fuck you running through the woods like the wolves i stalk my prey feasting on your beating heart will coderize the hole where mine used to beat we hate you we hate you fuck you and watching their souls depart brings me back i will not beg for forgiveness i never believed my flesh forever rotting under the soil we hate you we hate you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you

freezing my veins expand and burst spilling blood on the floor manipulation to be happy Ill sacrifice for that living in this personal hell bleeding on the pages I write this decree of suffering and sign your name im still like the ashes gray and dull burned down to nothing wanting to be lit hopeing to be freed from the outside Iam dying but on the inside im writting waiting for my salvation Ill crack the spine of my suicide textbook

and this will be so fucking hard living here with no memory of us and isnt it funny how it effects you now but never then like a drug trip you had to be my babysitter now my blood is all thats on your mind you need to finish cutting your wrists you need to finish loading the gun you need to finish tieing that knot as the snow falls the water stings your dirty soul reopening old scars I hope some of them remind you of how you hurt me im alone in so many places shine your rage fillied light down here you need to finish mixing that drink you need to finish filling the bath tub you need to finish swallowing  those pills pushed d

I love you but I lie I lie I swear I love you while im sleeping in her bed I tell myself I need the comfort but its obvious im lieing to myself and I dont deserve your forgiveness but you cant be without without me Ill carry out her death to make you happy pour gasoline on her body like I poured the truth on this page she looks up at me the blindfold will fix that now lying in this graveyard rain on my face i cant make haste a fresh grave need be dug to hold this body standing above single stab to the chest I couldnt kill her so now I give my life and I dont deserve your forgiveness buy you cant be without without me

Too look at you through my eyes is like staring through prison bars im too people inside and one loves you Anger and hate are keeping my heart beating or thats what they believe you swim in my veins an pollute my thoughts I scream devotion but my words get lost along the way I speak in tounges to hide my true feelings I wish I could speak to you my thoughts but there stopped before they reach my lips I lie in this bed of black roses and there are no thorns no thorns there before me a vision a vision of you trapped inside yourself theres hope waiting for me it took so long just to see your like me your like me your like me

I hear what your saying to me i know im to sad to care something tells me Ill never get my life back im as worthless as my mind has me believe so give up cause you cant help me Theres something in my head keeping me from the truth now leave me to die in this place To be trapped in this nightmare seems so good to me ill never make it out of here its not like im needed I dont feel wanted but maybe i dont want to be and how do you tell the ones you love they were wrong theyll never know how wrong they really were Theres something in my head keeping me from the truth now leave me to die in this place This thing it takes control